So, you've opened another email from yours truly.
I get the feeling that these are starting to feel like letters from Hogwarts: you don't expect them at all, and then one day they just show up. Or maybe you have some weird glitch in your email where they deliver five hundred times just like they do for Harry Potter. Wouldn't that be something?
Also, I freaking hate Harry Potter. He's a brat. I also hate Stuart Little. I wish that mouse would get hit by his tiny car.
i also hate indigo crayola crayons because they used to put them in the 8-crayon boxes instead of blue, btw
Now that you know about things that I don't like, let's talk about some things that I do! Recently, I have really been enjoying agentic coding. I got a Mac Mini and figured out how to run some local AI models on it, meaning I can use services that rely on AI for free. I just wire them up to my local models and shaboom, I'm home free. I've been using these to do all kinds of things, like build various apps and websites to solve different problems that I've found. I got tired of texting all my friends to see if they were in the library, so I made a simple, one button check in app. I got tired of checking Learning Suite, Canvas, and Max for all of my assignments, so I build a login-account-based website so that anyone can log in and compile all their assignments too. I made a personal website to impress employers. I'm currently working on a Mac Miller virtual assistant that will live on my computer like the paintings in Harry Potter. He'll run up to the screen if I say his name and do things for me. I'm really excited for that one, even though it'll be a much more difficult project.
The real surge for this kind of work happened recently because something changed in my life. I got a new job. Yes, folks, you heard that right. I'll soon be quitting the Career Center (thank you Beth) and switching completely to my new line of work. What is that, you ask? Why, I'm doing systems solutions for a startup company based in Provo. It's super cool work because I get to learn how to use incredibly powerful (and expensive) tools to try to come up with new ways to make a service better. So far, I've saved the company a whole lot of money, built a cybersecurity analysis tool that creates local copies of apps and websites and bombards them with attack bots, and made some new friends. I feel like a little kid when I'm over there--I am, they're all a fair bit older than me--but I get to play with all their shiny, valuable toys.
We may be going to another hackathon soon... this time at Yale. After we won the last one, the school decided we were worth supporting, so the math college is providing us with real funding this time. I'm very excited. I much enjoyed the last one. The lack of sleep hasn't really stopped since then (a human wind turbine sleeps above me, plus my ability to stop working and go to bed is near zero). Hopefully the Yale folks accept our application, which they should, and then we'll head over in April to try to repeat history. I doubt it, but who knows? Didn't expect MIT either.
Speaking of acceptances, I got accepted to do something very cool this summer. The National Science Foundation funds a program called "Research Experience for Undergraduates". This is a ten week, paid, intensive research program that demands 40 hours a week and repeated deadlines to help students accomplish a significant research project by the end of the summer. When talking to employers, the first thing they ask about is what you've done. Actually, the first thing they say is "thanks for coming" and "tell me about yourself," but who's being picky? This will be an awesome chance to really do something with all this quantum information theory I'm supposedly learning.
I'm not sure I have a lot of other life updates. I got a 95 on my physics midterm, which was nice. I will not be getting that score on the math midterm; in fact, I'll probably be failing that on Wednesday. Wish me luck. Our student association is doing well; we are outreaching for our hackathon that we hope to host this fall. If you know any quantum companies... send them our way.
I've been staying up way too late lately. It's the only way I seem to be able to get everything done. Besides just getting tired, I'm getting tired of it. Thank the heavens for caffeine. I feel like I've read something about how white Monster is "white and desirable above all other" or something like that. I don't know. Can't remember.
I've thought a bit this week about myself and the way I live my life. It is different from the way other people do. I'm more than happy working long hours if it's something I find interesting, but make me do 10 minutes of mundane tasks and I lose my mind. I don't really feel stressed by things I have to do, but speaking in front of other people? Absolutely. Some days, I can speak to my peers just fine and I'll ask questions to strangers; other days, I feel so awkward that I'd rather not talk to anyone at all. It feels like I live between two different lives sometimes, and it's a bit strange.
I also know that other people don't think in the same way I do. Not that they don't have the same thoughts as me or don't share common beliefs, but the way we process information is just different. It doesn't make anyone better than anyone else, but especially in the past week I've noticed that I have to translate the way I think to other people. Not because it's more intelligent, or faster, or anything like that at all. It's just different.
This has really forced me to think about the rarity and value of being understood. I was already wondering about this when one of my teachers told me in class that sometimes being understood is more important than being loved. I think I relate to this. I don't often feel understood by those around me, and sometimes it feels a little... alienating. It sometimes feels like people avoid taking the time to understand, believing they already know "the answer" for themselves. I try hard to understand where people are coming from so that I can reason from their point of view, and I see mixed levels of success. It isn't an easy thing to do, but I usually come away better able to guess how they'd feel about other things, which is very useful when attempting to talk about difficult topics.
It is a very odd feeling indeed to be surrounded by people, yet feel like none of them are anything like you. I think that is part of why I talk so much--yes, I am aware that I talk a lot. I feel the need to try to explain myself and how I feel and perceive the world across so that other people don't think I'm crazy or weird or a bad person to talk to. The people that I feel the closest with are those that I see the most and talk to the least, which is a little ironic. I'm not sure what to do about it. Thoughts? Suggestions? Send them my way. I also think this is why dating is a difficult thing for me. I know that if I talked to a girl, I'd eventually have to talk about more than just the weather. You can only mention the sun so many times in a conversation before even the astronomers being to question your right to live. When in a conversation with any real, she wouldn't understand things the same way I do, and then I'd just seem weird for trying to explain it. Or so I tell myself. I know it's only half true, but just like a qubit, it'll stay that way until I measure it.
Hopefully I find people that think like I do soon. It's getting a little lonely without them. Not actually lonely, I have wonderful friends who I love very much, but it does make me feel a little crazy sometimes.
Anyway, enough of my musings. It's 2:08, and I've got school in the morning.
Goodnight, moon.
-Will
