If you have social media, you've likely gathered what I've been up to this week. I am naming this three-week vacation as "The Great Eastern American Tour of Summer 2025". Really rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? Anyways, I am 1/3 of the way through this extended period away, so I figured I had better provide an update on what's happening.
We flew to Florida out of Provo on Monday last week. The transportation segment was pretty average as far as flights go, but I do have one complaint. Breeze Airlines no longer gives you a thimbleful of soda free, in case anyone was wondering. It was raining the most torrential deluge I had ever seen in my life when we landed, but it subsided pretty quickly.
Days 1 and 2 were both spent at Universal Studios. The park is pretty impressive, especially the screen/movement matching of the motion simulator rides. As someone who only gets motion sickness from screens, I appreciated that detail. I didn't ride any of the huge rides because (lore about me) I have an irrational fear of rollercoasters. I did ride Hagrid's Motorcycle ride and it was freaking sick; I enjoyed it enough that it was probably my favorite ride I've ever ridden. The Harry Potter parts of the park were very well executed. The whole sections actually felt like you were in the movie because the set design was just that good. The immersion factor was the most impressive part to me.
The Super Mario Land looked exactly like you'd been dropped right into the video game, from the spinning coins and moving shells to the marble bricks and the Thwomps on the towers. The rides in that part weren't particularly great, but the setting was remarkable.
The third day was a beach day. We went to the gulf side and it was very warm. Hazel lost her glasses in the water so she was stuck with her backup pair for the rest of the trip, which she was sad about. Poor kid also lost 80$ cause she left her bag somewhere we went and someone stole it. We got the bag back, just not the money.
Day 3 was the newly unveiled Epic part of the park. Yes, I capitalized Epic intentionally. That is the name. Do I ever make grammar or spelling errors in these? Never. Never ever ever. I wouldn't drame of such a ting.
You thought that was a mistake? You were supposed to read it in a North England accent.
Anyway, Epic was… well, epic. Their new Harry Potter ride was worth the wait (~65 minutes), and I'm a guy who absolutely hates standing in lines. Epic was where the Mario stuff was too.
Overall, I was impressed. I'd give it an 8/10.
What happened to the other 2 points? Since you have no choice in whether or not I write any of this, I will tell you. Most of my complaints have less to do with the park itself but more on the timing of our trip. I do not suggest traveling with 10 people, especially children. That made going anywhere very slow. I do not recommend mid-July, as it was 100 degrees at 60% or more humidity. It wasn't a kill-all though, since many of the rides have you wait indoors. Some of the wait times were craaaaazy. 195 minutes for one ride is insane. Sawyer and I went to Disneyland on Memorial Day weekend and I don't think it got that high. Fortunately, we never waited in line that long.
Rides also close for weather, no surprise there. Storms tend to roll in during the evening hours from 6-8:30, so ride the big outdoor ones before that. They also let you get in line for rides before close and then they let everyone in line finish the ride. I thought that was cool. I think that is part of why they close a little earlier than I expected at 9:00.
Thus concludes my review of the theme park.
It is at this exact point that the draft I was writing on the plane didn't save and deleted itself, probably because my phone was totally out of memory. I even tried to copy it to my clipboard to no avail. The rest of the email was masterfully written but it is lost in the dregs of digital history. Here is my sad attempt to replicate it.
The next day was a beach day again. We went to the other side, near the race-famous Daytona Beach. It was much colder since it was the Atlantic Ocean, but the waves were a lot bigger so it was more fun. There were thousands of sand fleas that would all come up when you stepped on the sand. They are harmless crustaceans a quarter of an inch long that Hazel immediately christened as "sand piggies" the first time she saw them. That beach was cool.
The following day we went to a place called Blue Spring State Park. It was the bluest, clearest water I've ever seen. It was a little cold, but it was freakin' nice. Then, in a very in-character fashion, lightning forced us out of the water and under pavilions. It was the loudest thunder I've ever felt; it shook your nerves and rattled your brain. It was seriously impressive. Being the oldest comes with the eternal privilege of cleaning up after your younger siblings (and some others), so when the lightning made us retreat to the van, I was left to clean all the trash from the environmental neglectors who left it behind. It was at this moment, in my weakness, that I forgot my dear Mustang Hat. It has been to all 3 coasts of the US with me; countless trips to exciting destinations. I guess I'll have to show my next hat to all my favorite spots. Like an ex-girlfriend, that hat was to me.
Oh, Mustang Hat, lament thy loss
I do without much recourse of course
It feels alike the ship's been toss'd
My Mustang Hat I loved before.
-ode to mustang hat, 2025
Of course, I am writing in this way facetiously, much because of the influence of a book I just finished. Since I am traveling a lot for the next few weeks, it felt appropriate to read "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac. This novel is an American classic, and for good reason: it is a simple reflection on the idea of chasing the next hill despite perfectly happy circumstances. Even though the characters have wonderful lives, they repeatedly leave it all behind in pursuit of simple passions and shallow pleasures. I quite liked it, although I don't condone the consecutive abandonment of wives and children for no real reason, but I think that is precisely the point. Even though I should loathe the characters for acting the way they do, I can't help but fall for their pied piper antics, just as Sal follows Dean. It feels unbelievable that they are still alive by the time you finish the book, although it was set in the 50s, so I suppose things were different back then. It reads in a similar style to books like "Catch-22" or "Lord of the Flies", so if that really isn't your thing, you might be a bit bored. Some parts felt a little slow, but that might be because the font size on my Kindle pdf would autofit to the page and would frequently swap from massive to nearly unreadably small. Yes, I did try to change it. It didn't work. I got through the book, didn't I?
I also read AI 2027, a projective report by some proven accurate folks on the future of AI. It is both impressive and terrifying. I think everyone should read it. It's incredibly interesting. It feels a little hollowing to realize that your job might be gone in a decade, but comforting to know that a Universal Human Income is becoming plausible.
Fun fact: facetious is a word that I spelled wrong in my middle school spelling bee. Clearly I've learned.
I also listened to Tyler, the Creator's new album. It felt more cohesive than usual for an album, which I liked. The concept was good, although the music itself was a 6/10 in my opinion. Don't tap the glass? I didn't. I let that music play. Unfortunately, I couldn't dance the whole time, or any of it, for that matter. The character/alter ego he made for the album makes me laugh, so much so that I can't take it seriously.
Anyways, I've got a bunch of nothing to do while we drive to the airport again. Wish me luck. Hopefully the door doesn't fall off the plane.
-William Leonardo
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